[REPOST FROM SEPT 2021...EVEN MORE RELEVENT TODAY].
GEORGIA – Time travel has long been a topic of science fiction. Popularized time and time again, people are constantly wondering about what the past or future could be like. Could someone traveling back in time stop the Titanic from sinking or prevent a World War? Would one be able to see what they are like in old age or be astonished by the latest technology.
With the recent emergence of the time traveling visitors from the year 2071, many thought that all of societies problems would be fixed. That electric flying cars are in the sky, global warming is cleared up, and the world is prosperous and bountiful with new technologies, innovations, and a better political landscape.
While many are thrilled to hear of these things from the people who stole alien technology to transport themselves back to our time, fraud experts are groaning. According to the time travelers, check fraud is still a thing in 2071.
“Many people thought that checks and check fraud were going to die out,” states future human John Spacenik. Spacenik, a mullet wearing time traveling banker, was sent from 2071 in a recent information relaying envoy to talk to the banking industry. “Around the year 2040 the banking industry really took to getting off checks through promoting better payment methods. The archaic check was nearly wiped out by 2050. Then, someone got the brilliant idea to call checks ‘retro.’ We don’t know who to blame for this, but check usage resurged. And with it, lots of fraud.”
A time taskforce is being organized by 2022 fraud experts to ensure that the “retro” check trend is identified and stopped prior to gaining popularity in 2050. While attempting to change history may create a black hole, alter reality, or destroy all of space and time, both fraud and scientific professionals agree that it is worth the risk.
“A check has everything a frauddie needs to create a counterfeit one. And if they aren't counterfeiting them, they can still alter or forge it. Stopping the reemergence of this payment method and corresponding fraud types is pivotal to the course of human events,” states contemporary fraudologist Miguel Dominguez. “I am hoping that the 2071 visitors warned us in time to stop it.”
Meanwhile, Spacenik is conducting various interviews and speaking engagements to further warn the present world of the impending check related doom. He likes 2022, but misses a lot of his future life. He hopes to go back when the future is devoid of the paper form of payment.
“So yeah, in 2071 we have mullets, alien technologies, self-replicating pizzas, and fully mechanized Beanie Babies…and lots and lots of checks. It has to stop.”
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